We passed through the Equinox and the New Moon in Libra. We are now in both autumn and Libra season. As you probably know, Libra is the sign of balance….the only inanimate object in the zodiac, and MY personal astrological sun sign. I can think of no better time than October to focus on BALANCE! Can you?
Balance is an ever-elusive ideal in everyone’s life. We never seem to get there. As humans, we run in cycles of “feast and famine.” One week is overly busy, and the next week we have a lull. For most people that I come into contact with, over-busy is far more stress-producing than under-busy. But how do we have a life that truly feels balanced?
Maybe it’s a function of being a Libra. When I’m out of balance, I REALLY feel it! Whether I overcommit to doing things, travel too much, my diet gets out of whack, or my exercise gets put on the back burner, I get pretty miserable, pretty fast!
Because of this, I have spent the last decade really prioritizing balance over everything else in my life. At first, it felt strange to prioritize this. My life seemed much more boring and less busy than other people’s. But this practice has been the biggest blessing in my life. I have traded achievement-oriented goals for simplicity, peace, and joy, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Prioritizing balance does have a bit of a downside. It feels counter-culture. I don’t have a lot to brag about or show off in conversations with people. My life definitely isn’t glamorous or exciting. Sometimes I do feel bored. But I’d much rather choose balanced boredom than non-stop stress. My life has a rhythm to it, and the more I live like this, the more I enjoy the quiet ebbs and flows.
I don’t spend much time in over-stimulating activities. If I do, I plan time to recover from them in the days ahead.
As you probably know by now, I try to live by nature’s seasons. This brings balance to life in a way that our human planning can’t achieve. I’m more active and social in the summer, for example, and slow down in the winter. When I socialize around the holiday, I schedule downtime the next day, and I usually don’t stay as late as everyone else.
I generally plan my days around the sunrise and the sunset, my months around the lunar phases, and my years around the seasons. I tend to eat, exercise, and socialize/introspect based on seasonal patterns.
I am going to start allowing my blog to reflect this rhythm so that by simply being on this list, you will have a general gist of how to do it too.
Living like this is more of an attitude and an honoring rather than more things on your never-ending to-do list, so hopefully, this will be an easy guide. Or, if you’re already living like this, hopefully, it will be a validation!
When we live by the seasons, it can feel somewhat like we’re living to the beat of a different drum. When our daily plans are guided by nature, it sometimes (though not always) directly opposes what society deems important. For example, the winter is a time that nature invites us to sleep more and be introspective and quiet, but society has us going to Holiday parties and running around all over creation shopping for gifts!
Tips for living a more balanced life:
- Live by the seasons. Living by the seasons and the moon phases, and even the astrological signs brings balance to our lives. You can read these blogs regularly for more tips on what to focus on in each season. This month we are focused on creating balance because it is Libra season.
- Take stock. You have to know what feels balanced and what feels out of alignment before you can make changes. Last month, for example, I traveled too much. I felt out of balance and overstimulated. I made a commitment to myself to not plan any trips unless I am darn sure that they are truly important to me….and NOT three weeks in a row!
- Set Boundaries. Commit to having a life of balance and follow through on it. This is all about boundaries. If you know you need to do yoga daily to feel balanced in your body, then commit to that practice and do it even if it’s one child’s pose! If you know you need time to socialize with friends to feel balanced, then set aside time each week to meet with someone you care about. If you know, therapy helps you, schedule a weekly appointment with your therapist! What you don’t have one?? Give me a call! (shameless pitch! LOL!)
- Adjust. Adjust. Adjust. What feels balanced for one season will feel very OUT of balance in another season. It requires constant practice of evaluating, re-evaluating, and making adjustments based on how your life feels at any given time. I may, for example, get bored staying at home all winter and schedule a few fun trips for the spring, even though this season I am keeping my travel to a minimum.
Side Note: If you think about balancing postures in yoga…tree pose, for example…the way to maintain balance is not to be rigid. You have to constantly micro-adjust your body in order to stay balanced on one foot. It turns out that being able to balance on one foot is a really good predictor of life expectancy. I would argue that your ability to micro-adjust in life is a good predictor of life expectancy too!
- Balance your breath. There have been seasons in my life where having balance was impossible. For example, when you’re raising an infant, your life is by nature out of balance. You’re life revolves around that baby, and there’s not much room for anything else for a while. My grad school experience was very unbalanced as well. There was very little time for anything other than working and studying. During these times, I found that being balanced in my breath could, for moments, give me the feeling of balance even though I was unable to truly BE balanced.
Perhaps you find yourself in a time like this now. Especially if you’re currently in the “sandwich generation” position, where you are simultaneously raising young kids AND taking care of your parents, if you are currently in a season that lacks balance, try balancing the length of your breath. In for 5, out for 5, in for 5, out for 5. Do this for 5 minutes. This will balance your nervous system and help you to feel calm and balanced even in the midst of chaos. It’s not going to solve all your problems, but try it! It will help, I promise!
- Unplug! Taking time away from electronics can be a very balancing reset for your brain and your life! We are all so overstimulated by all of our dopamine-rewarding phones, TV, and TikTok videos that sometimes we can all just benefit from a break!
- Prioritize Your Health. This is obvious and certainly easier said than done, especially when you’re already burning the candles at both ends. But maybe it’s time to take stock of your health habits and recommit to healthier ways of living. If you’re ready, I mentioned in my last blog about the cleanse I’m doing with my friend Hillary Fredrickson that starts on Oct. 10th. If you want in, please let me know. I’ll send you a link!
- Categorize and Plan. Make a list of the areas of life that are important to you, such as “Physical Health,” “Spiritual Growth,” “Social,” “Family,” “Career,” etc. Make sure that you are spending enough time focusing on each of these areas that are important to you. If you like to make schedules, schedule in time each week for each thing. Some of these require less time to feel balanced, so don’t feel like they all have to be equal. You just need to experiment with how much time leads to a feeling of balance in each category. For example, a career may require 6 hours a day to feel in balance, while spiritual growth may only require a 15-minute meditation each day to feel balanced. You get to decide!
Next week I’m going to talk about how trauma can actually get in the way and block your ability to create that life of balance that you dream of!
Stay tuned!
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